Today, is Bryce's birthday.
He's out at the barbeque pit, grilling fresh tuna steaks, drinking a corona with an old friend. This is far more information already than he would like me to share with anyone.
But it's his birthday, and I'll do what I want... oh.. wait.
I've been thinking and we've been talking lately about choices. I am a firm believer that we choose what we do, how we act, who we are, how we are... and who we love. Yes, love is funny, unpredictable and a bit wild. But, we choose each other. We all know that life is short, fragile, impermanent. Who we spend our time with on this earth, should most certainly be our choices.
I choose Bryce. I choose to spend most of my time, in every single day... with him. With the baby we created together. Its a choice. At any time, I could and can walk out. When things get annoying, emotional, hard, frustrating, I could walk out. So could he. He could get so irritated with our little things and choose to pack up and leave. But he doesn't. We don't. We choose each other.
To me, its so profound, and so simple. Each day, each moment... you are not stuck in some life. You are in this world. On this earth. With this partner, friend, dog, children, parents... it is remarkable. It isn't a race to something else. It is every single breath. Every single moment.
When we touched down in Maui last night, it was pouring rain. "It never does this" the shuttle driver shook her head. I took a deep breath and almost laughed out loud. Big tropical raindrops, pouring from the sky. It was late, we were tired, waiting with a very sleepy baby, and it was raining in Maui. But, it was beautiful.
My baby and I, waiting outside watching our Bryce inside in the car rental line up... she waved, a big brand new, "I just learned this today" wave... right to him. He looked as though he had just won the lottery. Her joy, his pride, our moments... the rain. All wrapped up in our life.
In that moment, my universe was perfect. I know that things can always change, that life can have its dark times, its sadness, its very big lessons. But, right then, in that moment, the three of us together, were our own brand of perfect.
Relationships are hard, agreed. They are a lot of work, yup. They are also easy to walk away from, unless you choose to lay down your ego, and see the other persons light.
In this life, with so many uncertainties, it really is nice to have you beside me Bryce. I get us. I choose us. I know, that every choice along the way, good and bad, I've made... has brought us, right here. Your choices too, every single one. Right here, with this marvelous little soul. It is all, it has all... been worth it. Everything.
Looking at Maisie Lu, I know, we've done all kinds of things right.
Happy Birthday BC.
I love you.
ox
