Studying Maisie

It's like in daily life I forget to study you. I am doing stuff, you are doing stuff (you are always busy... putting diapers on Elmo, laughing at Frank, playing with the kitties, bunnies, reading books, running from room to room... just throwing stuff on the floor and singing) I forget there are other rooms in the house to explore. We venture into our bedroom, and our bed becomes Disneyland. The plain white sheets become a blanket of fun, a new adventure. The window, our door to making up stories and singing songs to the passing cars. Safe and warm... watching the people stream by. Where are they going? "home" you say... or "wuuurk". I say, maybe they are going to get "pizza" and you sing "piiiiiiiza. piiiiizzzzza." maybe they are taking their dog for a walk. "FRAAAANKIE" you yell. It seems so simple. But, it's us. Our days. Our cherished, sweet moments that I study you as you flail all over the bed. Then you have moments where you stop also, you seem to study me as well. Or, just plotting your next big move. Whatever it is, whatever we do, I love studying you. Who will you be, who are you now. How you bring our house to life in the most beautiful way. I hope we always have these simple moments, infused with sweetness.

It's Christmas time Maisie Lu, and I just can't stop studying your funny little spirit and your great big soul. May our Christmases always be safe and warm. So much love, mom.

Choose awesome.

Dear Maisie, In your life, it is highly likely that people will try and tell you that things are boring, that life won't work out, that black friday isn't fun and that parking lots are ugly. They might tell you that you can't have fun, that you won't have fun and that you will have a miserable time. You won't... unless you want to. Today, your dad pointed something out to me in his quiet loving way. "Look at her, having the time of her life in a parking lot." You don't know that people don't generally have the best time of their life in a parking lot. You don't know any different. You only know that you want awesome and fun. So... fun it was.

Please always remember that you always have the potential for awesome. Every single moment of each and every day. You carry your own light within you. There can be darkness all around you, and you can be the only light. You just choose to shine girlfriend, and all will be well. Love you, mom. ox (Many thanks to Auntie Thelma for helping us create some cherished family images tonight. xoxo)

A toy story: Maisie and Ruby.

Dear Maisie, Every night when you are tucked into your crib we clean up your toys. All of the books go back into the teepee. The stray toys go into the cedar hope chest that my grandparents gave me when I graduated. I fold up your little blankie and put it on your little couch and then I put Ruby back onto your little chair beside Franks bed. She stays there every night until at some point the next day you decide its time for her to get out. Usually you grab her ever so delicately by the hair and toss her to the floor. "Tea Party" you say and throw a little plastic tea cup at her. You take a big swig of your imaginary tea and say "eeeeelisshious". I let you know that I think Ruby needs a refill and you pretend pour her some more. "mmmmmm".

During the day I'll find Ruby on Franks bed, face down on the floor or in some other random location. You also think it's funny to sit on her and yell "yeeeehawwww". Auntie Heather bought you Ruby before you were even born. I've never been more excited about a toy in my life. She is handmade and awesome and Auntie Heather told me that I have to let you PLAY with her. She said, she wanted you to be able to drag Ruby anywhere with you and get her dirty and well worn in. So, we play hide and seek with Ruby. The other day, it was in our front yard. I hide her, and we yell "RUBBBBY! RUBY!!!" Until we find her. Even when you find her, you still insist on yelling for her. Daddy said that the other day he took you outside (without Ruby) and you were yelling for her and looking for her anyways.

There are many moments in each day when I have no idea what I'm doing. I wonder if I am doing anything right with you, or if I am making endless mistakes. But, we are happy. We are free. We hide dolls in our yard and laugh when we find them. We might be doing a few things backwards or just flat out wrong, but it's the very best kind of days I can think of. I love you sweet girl. Every day is a journey, a road to discovering new things about each other, about life and about you. How can this possibly be wrong. I love our days together Maisie Lucinda. Love them. Every. Single. One. xoxoxo Love mom.

Fall is my favorite.

Dear Maisie, All seasons are beautiful. Of course. But, there is something special about the fall. A time for family hibernation and soup. Cool crisp air, warm and cozy homes, leaves changing colors... and falling. Your great grandpa's apples ready. Sweaters, scarves, woodstoves and most importantly... boots. Fall is my favorite, and I've never quite enjoyed it as much as this year... with you. You make everything more fun. Rolling around in the leaves. Seeing a bug and then yelling, at the top of your lungs... "BUUUUUG. BUUUUUGGGGGG. BUG. BUUUUG."

These moments might not seem like a lot now... but I know in a few years, I'll be thinking back on the time we rolled around in the leaves, you burning around, laughing, kicking and yelling. Us, playing with you... but mostly just marveling at your free spirited wildness. You bring us, pure joy. I love you sweet girl. ox

In the bath

Dear Maisie, I got a sudden urge to clean the entire house at 11:00 at night tonight. As I was scrubbing the bath, I couldn't help but notice the rainbow of foam letters stuck all over the walls. "O" you say. You pick up every letter and say "O", and we clap and smile and tell you that you are brilliant. I was putting away all of your bath toys and thinking about your small but quick fingers figuring out how to pick them up and stick them on the wall. "O". You are saying so many things. "Daddy wuurk". "hockey" "Uncoooo" for Uncle, although, when you see him, you just yell "Digsy". You refuse to try and say Frank, or Franko. You are attempting words like "blackberries" and "grapes" and pretty much anything else. You've been dancing. Auntie and Grandma crank up "Black horse and a cherry tree" and you are stomping your feet and twirling and so excited for the part in the song when you can start singing "noooo noooo nooo no no no no" with the song.

To me...your face is perfection, your eyes seem more and more familiar to me every day, and your smile melts my heart. You spend hours looking at and reading all of your books. I would say they are your favorite toy. Yes, books are toys. The very best kind of toys. Your heart is pure. You are magic. When you come in for a hug, everything else falls away. "O" you say and point at the S. Yup... "O" I reply.

Our bath is clean tonight, and quiet... but filled with you my girl. Our whole world is. You are precious. A rare treasure. Tonight, even scrubbing the bath, I feel lucky.

Love you girlfriend, oxxo mom.