Fall is my favorite.

Dear Maisie, All seasons are beautiful. Of course. But, there is something special about the fall. A time for family hibernation and soup. Cool crisp air, warm and cozy homes, leaves changing colors... and falling. Your great grandpa's apples ready. Sweaters, scarves, woodstoves and most importantly... boots. Fall is my favorite, and I've never quite enjoyed it as much as this year... with you. You make everything more fun. Rolling around in the leaves. Seeing a bug and then yelling, at the top of your lungs... "BUUUUUG. BUUUUUGGGGGG. BUG. BUUUUG."

These moments might not seem like a lot now... but I know in a few years, I'll be thinking back on the time we rolled around in the leaves, you burning around, laughing, kicking and yelling. Us, playing with you... but mostly just marveling at your free spirited wildness. You bring us, pure joy. I love you sweet girl. ox

Young Entrepreneur or the Year

A few weeks ago I was honored with receiving the Young Entrepreneur of the Year award for Campbell River by the Campbell River Chamber of Commerce. The Young Entrepreneur of the Year award: "Honors a business owner or founder under the age of 35 who has excelled in business; exemplified leadership and entrepreneurial skills; and demonstrated exceptional vision that has contributed to business success."

I was absolutely floored to receive this award as I was nominated along with many other talented and inspired business owners! Other nominees include Scott Kilby, Campbell River Hyundai Heather Larkam, Urban Dance Connections Jonathan Kervin, Web Sense Aum Song Troughton, Embody Wellness

In any case, I was completely unprepared for the receiving of the award. The tidemark theatre was full of people. I was sitting in the furthest darkest corner of the room (furthest from the stage) so internally there was only one thing happening on my very long walk to the stage... a mantra repeating itself... "Do not fall Erin". Upon arriving at the stage, I awkwardly accept my award, break out my best double chin for the photo of me receiving my award (no, I will not be showing you that particular photo) and then realize that someone is telling me to "say a few words".

The whole world stops turning at this point. My instincts tell me to elbow anyone in my path, grab my award and head for the nearest exit. I am terrified. With a camera in my hand, I am fearless. Honestly. Nearly fearless. I will yell at a group of 200 or more people, cracking jokes, orchestrating an entire field of people into the right spot for the right photo. I can make cranky kids laugh, or smile, I can become best friends with the most ornery old fella, or the craziest auntie around. Without my camera, I am just another person terrified of public speaking.

I know the moment it all changed, yet I can't seem to overcome it. I was 21 and asked to give a speech about my personal involvement with Cystic Fibrosis, and specifically about my Uncle Michael (moms brother) who had passed away from it at the age of 21. Even writing those words brings my heart rate to a panic and the lump in my throat is painful. I had a beautiful speech written, there were funny parts, sad parts a great ending and beginning but the delivering of the speech was something I wasn't prepared for. Prior to this particular speech I was always the one to be the speaker. Grad fashion shows, MC's no problem. NO problem! So I thought, I would be just fine at the Rod Brind'Amour Cystic Fibrosis Golf Tournament. I was far from fine. I'm pretty sure I cried through the entire speech. I don't know if anyone even heard one word of what I said, but I just remember the whole time looking at my moms face (who was squatting in the front taking photos of me). Her face said "you're doing great, you're ok". But I knew, I was bombing. I was crying and spitting out words and trying to race through my speech. I've never been able to speak at a microphone since then. (without a camera).

So, forgive me for my one second "thank you everyone" speech at the Chamber Business Awards of Distinction event. While everyone else had amazing speeches prepared, saying eloquent things... I was fumbling and awkward and if we're being honest here... that is just totally me.

What I might have said, and should have would have been more like this...

Thank you for seeing me. Thank you to this amazing community for opening your arms to my art, to my dreams to my visions. Thank you for humoring all of my wild ideas and for supporting us through my imagery. I am so grateful for my clients. Every single one of you. I am grateful that you believed in me 5 years ago, and still do today. I'm grateful you've grown with me, and brought my images into your homes time and time again. I am grateful to the Chamber for recognizing me, for picking me out of the crowd and acknowledging me for all of my hard work and efforts. My business hasn't grown by itself. I've worked so hard to get to where I am today, and with the continued support of my beautiful family and friends and clients, we are able to stay in a city we love, have grown up in and want to raise our children in. I am so grateful.

Thanks to Lee from Island Life Photographics for the image above.

Looking at the stars

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

I'm a pisces. Happy one minute... pensive and serious the next. Bryce says 'you never know who you're going to get'. I say 'predictable is boring'. (this could go on) We all have qualities about ourselves that are great, and ones that are not so great. What you choose to focus on, is entirely up to you.

It's like wanting to buy a certain brand of car. You've never really noticed them before but now that you want one... you see them everywhere. You can talk about all of the great things about them, how perfect it is for you. At every stop light, at every corner, you park beside them, you pass them... they are everywhere. You think, Crazy! Everyone has one! But, maybe they were always there... you just never noticed them until you became aware of them. Or until you changed your focus to see them.

I am probably the most annoying person on the planet, if you want me to be. If you sat and gossiped about all of my faults you might convince someone that I'm not a good person. However, if you chose to notice my positive traits, and focused on them... you might see me entirely differently. I might walk into my house, and see Bryce doing something that bugs me. Maybe he's buying more Lucky Louie's, maybe he's wearing his shoes in the house... if I immediately choose to focus on those things, I might miss that he has just been playing with sticker books, and puzzles on the living room floor for an hour with our little girl. I might miss that he is giving Maisie a bath wearing crazy safety glasses just to make her laugh. If I focus on the negative, I'll never see the positive. In anything, ever.

So, I challenge myself daily, to look for the good. To seek out beauty. If I think the world is a dark, miserable gray place... it is. But, if I look outside and see gray as a mystic West Coast wonderland... it is. They are my eyes, it is my choice. Does it always work? Nope... but I'm a work in progress, and it's getting easier.

That's just the way I see it. (Thanks to Thelma for the images of me in Haida Gwaii)

Happiest Halloween Ever

Recently an amazing soul, Kimberly Wood (Black) (above) was back in the hospital with complications due to Cystic Fibrosis. Her facebook statuses got gloomier than usual, and it really tore my heart out to not be able to do anything for her. Rewind just over a year ago...

Maisie has had complications (since aspirating meconium at birth) with breathing when she gets sick. A common cold turns into countless trips to the Emergency room and machines, and crying and her dad and I looking at each other with those silent "hold it together" looks. The looks that say what we don't dare to say, "I hope it's nothing serious."

When Maisie was just hours old, when a lot of parents would usually be gazing lovingly into the face of their peacefully resting newborn, Maisie was getting an IV and being put into an incubator. Our amazing midwife Sheila was telling us with tears in her eyes what we were facing and a team of rock star Pediatricians from Children's Hospital in Vancouver were flown over to asses her. She was feverish, and having some trouble. My body literally broken having just given birth to a 9 pound 13 oz baby girl, my emotional state, never more fragile. All I could do was hold her little hand through the clear walls of the incubator and silently pray. Luckily, the rock star pediatric team gave us amazing news. She was going to be ok. Maisie and I were air lifted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in Nanaimo where she stayed for three very long days. The nurses and doctors all assured us eventually that she was just fine, and she passed all tests and we were finally aloud to bring her home. Bringing her out of the hospital everything seemed more beautiful.

Two weeks ago, Maisie was back in Emergency with difficulty breathing. I had her in my arms and was going to register her, I looked to my left and saw Chris Black (Kimberly Wood's mom). I was in a hurry to check Maisie in, but the look on her face... kind of broke my heart. How many times has she been sick with worry about her little girl (who has grown into a talented, caring, nurse herself). How many times had her and her husband Bill looked at each other with those worried, but trying to keep it together looks on their faces. I couldn't stop picturing Kim as a little girl (they were our neighbors growing up) and Kim was probably the cutest baby/little girl ever (aside from Maisie of course). Holding the nebulizer to Maisie's little face I could see Kimmy downstairs in their family home with the mask on, taking pills, laying on that weird brown fold up physio bed having her back thumped on (part of her daily physio). I could see her dad squeeze her hand when he walked her down the isle and the look on her moms face. I could see her giving every speech at every Rod Brind'Amour Golf Classic. I could see the whole family fighting. Fighting for a cure for Cystic Fibrosis, for better drugs, for more improvements, for a better life and a longer life for Kim. So, when they gave me medication for Maisie and told me that it would pass. We sighed a deep sigh of relief, but I also thought about what it is like for the doctors to say "Cystic Fibrosis" instead. Being a parent, I get it even more now than I ever did before. When there is something wrong with your child. THE WHOLE WORLD STOPS and nothing matters, except your baby.

Chris and Bill Black are the most inspiring human beings you will ever meet or know. They are fighting, Kim is fighting. Sometimes the fight seems overwhelming, like it might be too much... you'll see Kim's statuses go to "Not particularly excited about my upcoming hospital food, hospital bed, PICC line and having my life revolve around an IV medication schedule. I suppose it'll be nice to be able to take a deep breath though." And then, we she turns a corner and comes out fighting... they go to "Just wanted to say thank you all so very much for all your well wishes, thoughts, positive healing energy and everything else you've all sent me. I feel so loved and cared for and am happy to finally be out of the hospital! Although I'm still on IV antibiotics, I'm feeling a little stronger and ready to kick some CF ass." And, you want to stand up and cheer and yell and hug someone. Kim is an inspiration and I love her dearly.

Which brings me to our Happiest Halloween Ever event. I love kids in costume (dogs too for that matter) and with everything Kim was going through I was shocked that I hadn't done a fundraiser myself for Cystic Fibrosis Canada. I noticed a friend on facebook Jacquilyn Avery Photography doing some Halloween mini sessions for autism. I was instantly on board, and couldn't wait to do it for Cystic Fibrosis. Awesomeness everywhere. It is totally a WIN WIN situation. I get to spend a few hours photographing your hilarious small people all dressed up, and you get photos of your little ones dressed up, and Cystic Fibrosis Canada makes money. I LOVE IT. Come! Join us!

Let's have some laughs, raise some money and be even more awesome than we thought we were today. I love you all for your amazing support!!!

(phewf, we made it. That was an emotional and long one.) First a few images of Kim with her parents on her wedding day in August 2008 (fundraiser info to follow).

There is no minimum donation, but you can give whatever your heart is inspired to and whatever you can afford. We are creating a positive, fun experience to raise awareness about Cystic Fibrosis and to raise some money for an amazing cause. I am also doing it, to show the beautiful Kimberly Wood... that we ALL LOVE HER, support her and are fighting right along side her. In the little ways that we can. She is not alone. (I know there are other amazing kids in Campbell River with Cystic Fibrosis and we are of course, fighting for you all too! But... Kim is pretty close to my heart.)

Details are below and if you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to ask! Also, if you are a local business and would like to donate something for this event, or have any ideas on how to entertain a hopefully long line of people (kids) please let me know! The photos will happen in a line up style. No appointment necessary! Please share this poster, and this post with anyone you can!

Haida Gwaii.

I took a vacation in the midst of my busiest season, and that... has made all the difference. It wouldn't have been possible without the fierce grandmotherly dedication of my amazing mom and sister, who moved into our home and watched our girl for an entire week. I have no words for my gratitude. Thank you. We also did this trip with two of our favorite people, ever. A truly indefinable time.

Fresh air. New sights. Familiar, but different landscapes. Lush green forests. Ravens instead of crows. Eagles instead of Seagulls. Smiles instead of frowns. They call it Haida Gwaii, or otherwise known as the Queen Charlotte Islands. It's a place full of wonder.

It's not uncommon to have 10pm tenderloin on the barbeque on the deck of your amazing cabin overlooking the sea. It's also easy to enjoy fresh halibut, salmon or crab... all caught in the same day. You might be barefoot one minute... and in gumboots in a downpour moments later. It's likely you will encounter the same faces around the island, or go for miles without even seeing one face. Your taxi driver, may also work in the art gallery, be a fishing guide or run the B&B down the road. You may stay in the same B&B as the photographer opening an art exhibit at the amazing Haida Gwaii Heritage Center. You'll bump into Barb in Masset and then be in her basement marveling at her beautiful pottery. She'll tease you with her mermaid mugs that are no longer available. You may be fortunate enough to enjoy fresh warm cinnamon buns in the middle of the Naikoon Park with no electricity for miles around. You may even get a chance to visit amazing natural hotsprings in the protected Gwaii Haanas National Park. Your blood pressure may drop immediately.

You may fall in love with Haida Gwaii. You may, be on the plane leaving... planning your next trip back. Something tells me, I'm not the all inclusive type.

Where were our favorite stays???

* in Masset (or about 2 minutes outside of Masset) Alaska View Lodge Beautiful views, private cabins and incredibly friendly and accommodating staff! Cynthia and Sarah are the best! Thank you girls for an incredible stay and a memorable vacation!!! * in Queen Charlotte City Echo Bay Lodge. Terry was the best and he made (and shared) amazing champagne!!! There were other places we stayed as well, but none of them I would be dying to tell you about. The above two however, were GREAT!