Inspiration in Ancestry

We all grow up with the weight of history on us. Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our brains as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies. ~Shirley Abbott

When I dove head first into photography more than ten years ago. I had no idea that it may not have even been my idea. But an idea that was handed through a long line of photographic blood running through my veins.

Perched on a stool in the basement of my photography school, eyes wide with excitement. The darkroom became my sacred place. The room seeping with mystery, darkness, tools, light, negatives, I was in awe of the images forming in front of me. The smell of chemicals, the wet paper, the tongs, the thrill of it all.

The first time an image took form on photographic paper before me, I cried. Overwhelmed by the beauty in creating images. I was drawn down into the darkroom for hours on end, time after time, I was there when it opened and begged for just one more minute, as they would be trying to close the doors at night.

The darkroom became a sacred place. A place where I found my peace through images, art and creating.

A few years ago my Uncle Jim had been doing some research into our ancestry. Where the Wallis' came from, how we got here, who we were and if it may evolve into clues as to who we've become. He mentioned something about a great relation being a photographer. 'Oh cool' I thought, and carried on my way. Never realizing how incredibly inspiring it was. I was preoccupied.

The ERIN WALLIS PHOTOGRAPHY studio is now built and I started to think about what Uncle Jim had said those years ago. Who? Who was a photographer? Are there more photos? Could I see them? Could I have a copy and put it in the studio?

So I asked. The response, gives me goosebumps and chills and makes me smile all over.

My great great great Grandfather was William Gillard, an Artist Photographer from Gloucester, UK. He owned and operated his own photographic studio for a number of years. His daughter Enid De Samarez Gillard also a photographer married Henry James Cribb Wallis who later became a photographer as well (my great great grandparents). Enids brother was also a photographer. This is so incredibly inspiring as I've been able to see images created by them. It makes my heart dance in thinking that behind the lens of a camera over a hundred years ago, my ancestors may have also felt the same peace, or thrill.

(Henry James Cribb Wallis and Enid De Samarez Gillard both Photographers, my Great Great grandparents)

I have always been fascinated by photographs. Nearly every time I've ever been to my grandparents home, I would inevitably wind up digging through old photographs and asking questions, and listening to stories of the images. Some photographs had amazing stories, for some, the people in them, remain nameless their story lost with time. I could look at them for days, and repeatedly, and have done so for the past 30 years. I will do it forever.

I find something so magical about seeing faces of our past. Of my past. They may not be famous, or be interesting to anyone else. But to me, I care. I want to know their stories. I want them to live on. I want to be able to say to future generations, this is your great great grandfather, he loved to golf. He ate tomatoes right out of the garden like they were apples and made his own wine from grapes grown off his own vines. I can look at those images a thousand times. I will do it forever.

This all brings me around to the importance of photographs to me now. Documenting life, moments, people, history, and doing so artfully, honestly and with passion. Won't we all be memories one day? Who knows, maybe no one will be searching through my old photos looking for clues about who I was, or what fueled me through my life.

But, maybe someone will.

My Great Great Great Grandfather William Gillards Medals and Accolades for Photography 1879.

On my moms side, my Grandmas mom, Great Grandma Maisie born in Ireland personality as big as the world. Maisies Daughter my Grannie Goodheart living in Victoria, BC.

Second from left, my Grandpa. Don, who grew every kind of vegetable and created his own breed of apples.

My dads grandparents.

My grandma with great Gran and right image is my dads mom and dad (one of my all time favorite images) This is my papa, I love this photo more than I can express. Here's to you all!

As the Lakota Sioux say so eloquently to honor all relations and those who've walked before us, simply "All my Relations!" or Mitakuye Oyasin.

On stillness in art

Last night, as is the same with every Monday night for the next 6 weeks... I am at meditation class. Don't judge me. I've done stranger things. I'm sure you have too...

I am after all a west coast gal. I was raised on sweat lodges and spiritual circles. I've been to a number of amazing First Nation Potlatch's and ceremonies, Buddhist ceremonies, and am not opposed to anything that heals the heart, and helps one along their journey. (more background info here) I am not a devoted 'follower' of anything or anyone. Nor do I have any problem with anyone who is, so long as its not hurting anyone, I suppose.

In any case, one thing became blindingly clear to me last night during this meditation class. (Which I was struggling to keep it together during, as my fellow "meditator" and usual partner in crime, fell asleep and banged her head on the wall, jarring everyone 'awake') What became clear to me, as the 'host' was explaining to us that during these particular meditations you should become aware of the inward flow, peace, stillness, etc... I'm not cut out for sitting in a circle meditating.

I find the easiest way to tap into my own stillness, and inward flow, is in every day, in every moment. The way the breeze catches a blade of grass as it rolls by. The way a child looks when she is totally happy. In the daily presence of each breath, in the push and pull of the tides, and beautiful blazing colorful sky do I find it incredibly effortless to connect to that inward flow. And even easier still, when I have a camera in hand.

I find this peace, and stillness in photography. For me, it feels as beautiful and natural as breathing. I would even go as far as to say, it is meditation. Here is something I found online that ties it all together nicely from Eckhart Tolle, "All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness." How profound and how true.

When are you truly present? Is it when you are watching your daughter and husband cuddled up reading on the couch, when you are walking your dog, playing catch with your child, making crafts with your nieces, putting together a scrapbook, singing, dancing, painting or just simply breathing? I'm pretty sure you'll find stillness among the most beautiful areas of your life. I know I do.

Here are a few images, that I found stillness in.

I'm unsure whether I'll make it through the whole set of Mondays... I'll give it a shot... but... come on! THE SKY WAS ON FIRE last night, the most amazing colors... and we were supposed to have our eyes closed!?!

Watching Franko Grow.

Those of you dog lovers, or Vizsla lovers out there in cyberspace may be curious to see just how much little Franko is growing. It is amazing to see the changes in not only appearance, but co-ordination, demeanor and quirkiness. His personality is amazing, and Bryce and I find ourselves falling more and more in love with him, daily. Here are a few recent images of the little guy, and our little family.

Of Birthdays and Beginnings.

What seems like a hundred years ago (but was more like 15 years ago) two wildly creative souls set out on an afternoon adventure. They, armed with a hand-me-down camera, took to the field with fairy wings, and white dresses... they were on a photo adventure. A creative mission of sorts. Looking to capture beauty, create something interesting, daring to indulge their quirky spirits and somewhat innocently create art. They ventured deep into the forest, a graveyard, the lakes edge, to an old farm... sought out rusted old beat up trucks and broken down barn doors. Dancing in Medieval dresses barefoot in fields, wobbling along logs. They, believing that they were amidst magic continued to ignore every wild look from passing traffic, and laughed until it was obnoxious.

We were 15 years old.

We've been creating images together for 15 years. At first on our own, and then with the births of her three incredible children, more images... more memories... more art.

Our paths in life have been vastly different. But connected non the less. Today is Heathers birthday, and I just can't help but not acknowledge the incredible support and love I have received not only from her, but from her three beautiful children. Throughout the years, I have gained more love, gotten more insight, been so swept off my feet by those three little beings. I can't imagine my life to be as full without all of them in it. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to have them all in my life.

So Heather, Happy Birthday... it may not have been what we expected 15 years ago, but its not half bad is it!!!

May we end up on those rockers at the end of it all, bitching and laughing and behaving like fools!